Tag Archives: The Monologued Dialogue

Monologued Dialogue, Updates

An approximately 6 month check in – Where have we been?

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Man, it’s been a minute, hasn’t it? We haven’t posted anything since May, and that was just sharing a few spreadsheets I’ve made to help other gamers with specific game tracking things.

And it’s been an eventful few months. You started a new job, got in a car wreck, lost two puppers, and got a new car.

I didn’t need the reminder about the puppers… But for our readers, I had a little dog, we’d guess about 3 or 4 years old, that my mother had taken in when he was found wandering near her house. No one claimed him after they looked for his owner, so Mom kept him until Dad wanted him out of the house because he wasn’t fully trained. (And Dad was looking to get a different dog, admittedly.) So, little Phil came to live with me, my cats, my brother, and my brother’s old basset hound named River.

Phil was a cute little stinker, wasn’t he?

Yes, he was. But I couldn’t get him house trained. A year later and I was still struggling, but then his health took a dive. Come to find out, poor little guy was extremely diabetic, and it was time to start twice daily insulin shots. I did my best to get his numbers under control, but I was still working a dead-end job with little income, so I was also trying to find a home that could give him the care that he needed. Unfortunately, he took another bad dive and passed before I could find someone who could help him better than I could. That was around the end of May, and the exact same day that a woman I’ve seen as another grandmother and my mother’s cousin passed away. I’ve heard that death comes in threes, but they aren’t usually all on the same day.

On the plus side, you started a new job at the start of July. One that pays better, you already had a friend on the team you joined, and that took some stress off of you.

True. But then in August, I was in a wreck that totaled my car and took me a while to recover from mentally. Physically, the worst I had was a jammed finger and a chipped tooth. Mentally… Well, I’m still not completely recovered, but I’m not flinching from being “too close” to another car anymore. I also did manage to get a nice car after I got the insurance payout.

Things were quieter for you for a few months, at least. September and October weren’t too terrible.

Until River started to pass. He was an old dog, the family’s had him for years. He used to be Mom’s, too, but the brother that lives with me wanted him, and he was getting cranky with the younger and more energetic dogs around Mom’s house, so… He came to live with us! For a bit, he actually was a truck dog and went out with my brother in the semi every week. He loved that! But my brother changed to a different company and wasn’t allowed to have a dog in the truck anymore, so River stayed home. At least things were still calm here, as the cats didn’t bother him. Three of them actually ignored him, but my little orange cat, Flareon, loved him to pieces. Phil didn’t even bother him much when we eventually got him, preferring to play with energetic Flareon instead.

Man, Flareon did not take losing either of them well, did she?

No, she didn’t. She moped and looked for Phil for a solid month. It broke my heart, watching her look for her buddy. At least with River, she was able to see him declining, so it wasn’t as sudden. She’s still definitely been a little mopey, but not nearly as bad.

Well, let’s look at some happier things- What about the project you’re actively working on?

I’ve actually made a decent bit of headway on the start of a new story project: The Rose Queen – First Queen. That’s the temporary title, it may change before publishing. I’m also not yet sure if it’ll be published here, or if I’ll try to get it turned into a book and book series. I have ideas for a couple of follow up books, but I’m not 100% on them yet. But I’ve gotten the intro written for The Rose Queen, and I’ve got a full outline and an idea of how the world itself works.

So, magic, fantasy, sci-fi? What do we have?

It’s definitely a fantasy type story, with magic rather than tech. It’s hard to describe without giving a lot of the story away, but put simply, life is very different for the people of that world than the people of this one. Living areas are nothing like what we have, the social structure is different to a degree, and how people cooperate and survive is adjusted to that.

You can give at least a little overview, to get readers hyped for it, right?

Well… We’ll be following 23 year old Thorn, an illusionist living in District 92, the poorest district in her area. While helping her friends, she is affected by the actions of a serial killer in the district known as “The Stalker” by the residents. No one knows who this is, or why they are doing what they are, but after someone close to Thorn is taken, she starts to take a bigger interest in bringing justice to the crimes in District 92.

What about your other, big, 7 book project? How’s that going? I mean, I know, considering I’m just you, but what about for our readers?

Well, I’m in a holding pattern on that one at the moment. I know what I want to do, it’s just how to do it and how to get from point a to point b that’s evading me. It’s a project that will, honestly, take a long time. Even though 5 of the books will be the same story from different perspectives, there will be scenes in some that aren’t in the others, and how each character retells the tale will differ based on what they see as important and how they talk and think. For example, an analytical type will recall more details that led to various actions on their part, a fashionista may recall more what people wore and how things looked, and someone about the action over anything else may remember more of what people did and less of what they said. It’s both a look at how different characters are written, and how different people will remember the same exact events.

That’s pretty interesting, actually. Even when two people see the exact same thing, you’re right that they will focus on different parts of it and therefore remember it a bit differently. Even if the major points add up to the same thing for both of them, the small details will differ.

Exactly! It’s going to be a difficult project for me, but that’s half the fun. I’m looking forward to my next inspiration spurt for it. Until then, I’ve got The Rose Queen to work on. I’m trying not to start any other projects for the time being, so I don’t overload myself like I’ve done in the past. We’ll see how that goes from here! Let us know if you think I should post The Rose Queen here, or if you’d rather I go straight for book form!

Monologued Dialogue

When Life Gives You Restless Energy…

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GAH! WHY?! Why can’t I focus and get cleaning done? Why can’t I even focus on the games I like? Or books? Or videos or TV? Why is it so hard today?

Have you considered your brain works differently than those around you?

Yes, but that doesn’t help me if I don’t know how to manipulate it!

How about-

I don’t want to go to a doctor right now. Last time I tried to bring up this concern, it was brushed off.

Do it anyway. I know it’s unnerving, but-

I don’t want more pills I’ll forget to take. I need to figure out how to work with this.

Well, that long walk last night seemed to do the trick, at least somewhat. Or when you start writing absolute nonsense at the speed of a mad woman.

Yeah, but I can’t always do either of those, either due to where I’m at or weather or supplies at hand… Besides, walking 2 miles just because I’m frustrated, restless, or can’t focus really isn’t feasible at the moment just as is.

That’s true, but you can find a solution for those times that walking or writing won’t work. “Daydreaming,” for lack of a better term, also seems to focus you down.

Yeah- not really daydreaming but intentionally writing a story in my mind while I work on things… That does help sometimes. Other times, it gives me a headache.

That’s because you’re tensing up and stressing about other things, kid. As you figure things out, you’ll be fine.

What if it’s not fine? What if I can’t ever get this under control because I don’t want to go get medication for it? What if it’s not something that can be treated or helped and I’m just not normal? What if-

You read enough books to know what I’m about to tell you. You can “what if” yourself to death, kid. Instead, let’s look at what you’ve got going. You’ve got three potential ways to help you focus. You’re finding new ways to help yourself all the time. And if you don’t go to a doctor or therapist or psychiatrist? That’s fine, so long as you’re willing to accept the consequences of not accepting help and learn how to handle it without a professional.

Stop being so rational.

I am literally the rational part of your brain given a voice and personality. Can’t help it. Learn and grow, kid, that’s all you can do. That’s all anyone can do, at the end of the day. You can do this. Countless people do every day, with or without professional help.

Yeah… Yeah, I guess you’re right. Though remind me to be smarter the next time I want a two mile walk. That hill was brutal on my knee.

Sure thing, kid. If you’ll listen.

Monologued Dialogue

Doing What You Love And Loving What You Do

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It’s been a bit. We haven’t had a public chat in quite a while.

No, we haven’t. Haven’t had much private chatting either. You’ve been discouraged lately.

Well, when you start a writing blog and one fitness review gets all of your views for months on end, it kinda wrecks your motivation. Plus, writers block for the stuff I’m thinking of putting up as much next project… I kinda feel lost as a writer.

That’s fair- to work hard on something and see nothing for it, that can break a person. So, what will you do?

Keep on keeping on. I didn’t start this blog for exposure or to become famous. I did it to break out of my head, share my writing with whoever would find it, and maybe inspire others along the way. Through my chats with you, I want to help others see how to look in a different way at things. Or, at least how I do it.

And if nothing else you put out gets views?

It’ll be here if someone wants to view it. I don’t write because I have to, or I need to be seen. I started writing because I love it. I started writing because I love it. It’s freeing, a release from stress, and a way to explore myself.

So, you’re more worried about doing what you love?

Yes. I want to eventually publish a book. That will be for other people. This, though… this is mostly for me. A sort of public diary, public workbook.

Then that’s the important thing. Do things for you, not because it will make you look good. You’ve grown a lot lately, and mostly on your own.

I’m never on my own, really. You’re literally part of me, so I’ve always got you, too.

Kendra's Mental Health Central, Monologued Dialogue

Personas, Presentation, and Choices

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I’ve come to a realization.

Why don’t you sound happy about that?

Because I’m not. I don’t like what I’ve realized.

Oh boy. What is it, then?

You’re the one everyone sees.

What?

You’re the one everyone sees. Out and about, cheerful and energetic. You’re the extrovert, not me. I’ve always been an introvert just good at pretending to be an extrovert, but now I see it. In those positions, it’s you in control and people see you. I’m the one there for my fur babies, relaxing at home with a book or a game, but when other people are there… Mostly, it’s you. Shorty, you’re the cool one, the strong one, the one everyone likes. I’m just… Kinda here.

Well… I love to disagree with you in this case, because you’re wrong.

Wha- Bu-

No, no, hear me out. When we’re out and about and extroverted- Good with customers, good on the phone, smiling and cheerful, initiating conversations… Yeah, that’s me showing. But when we’re alone, and quiet, and have no energy? When we struggle to so much as eat dinner or shower? That’s more… We’ll name that one Exaviour.

Like… One of your old enemies?

Exactly.

Okay, but if you’re my outgoing and positive self, and Exaviour is me the rest of the time… Where exactly do I fit in?

Well, you’re both of us. We’re the way you present yourself, but you are both of us in some way or another. I mean… You have the capability to be me, or I wouldn’t be a presentation you show. Likewise, you have the capability to be Exaviour, to be basically a withdrawn couch potato. But which one you ultimately, truly are is up to you. You can be capable, successful, and couragous. You can be withdrawn, doubtful, and alone. You choose, simply by the choices you make. When you make choices that put you in positions where I present, then you start skewing more towards me. When you cancel plans and allow yourself time for Exaviour to rule, you begin to slide towards him.

So… What you’re saying is, I’m allowing myself to be a loser and a loner? I’m not trying hard enough?

No. What I’m saying is, there is a part of you that enjoys that, and a part of you that does not. Regardless if I present or not, you are still an introvert and get tired from being social. Your battery, as you see it, drains. You allow Exaviour out in an attempt to recharge. There’s nothing wrong with that! Everyone needs down time. But, when you’re recharged, you can still choose to continue charging. Have you noticed that you get tired of social things faster the more you’ve been alone?

Yeah…

Much like a phone battery, over-charging can damage your battery life. Likewise, letting your battery be too low for too long can cause you problems. There’s a balance, but you decide what that balance is, and if you’d prefer to balance towards me or Exaviour. Even when you’re alone, you can still balance towards me by doing just one thing at a time that you know you need to, but don’t want to. Washing dishes. Mopping. Laundry. It doesn’t have to be hard, just something to get you doing something more Shorty-like and less Exaviour-like.

So… I’m both my good, public side and my not-so-great private side, but I can skew more toward my public persona by just making one or two choices at a time?

Exactly.

That’s some real self-help bullshit if I’ve ever heard it. But damn, you’re right. I mean, look at the Exaviour part of me that says I’ll never finish any projects? It gets quieter the closer I get to completing Taking Back The Kingdom, the more I work on my new project. They aren’t finished yet, the new project not even close, but the closer I get… The more I prove that I can do it, if I just allow myself. Admittedly, Taking Back The Kingdom won’t be finished finished with the final chapter being posted.

No, because it’s 100% all first drafts. If you ever decide to publish it as an actual book, you’ll need to flesh it out more, revise, proofread… What have you. But, you’ll have gotten to a true stopping point with the story. I say, once you finish that, pick another project on the site and work on. Because if you do, you give Exaviour less room to work with. And when you get home from work tomorrow, since you get home just in time to shower and sleep tonight?

Um… Dishes?

Sounds like a plan. See, we’re taking the steps needed to shift you more towards me and less towards Exaviour.

Shorty's Media Corner

Getting Back To Goals, And My Tools For The Ride – A Review Of Nerd Fitness

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Hey all! I know I usually leave reviews for Shorty, but being a part of my mind means she can only enjoy a little of today’s topic. Sorry, Shorty!

Pfft, you’re not leaving me outta this. Our whole dynamic was partially created out of things you did and learned in Rising Heroes.

Alright, we can tackle this together! Now, before we begin the real review, let me shout out the man, the myth, Rebel One himself- Steve.

Steve Kamb, specifically. He is the creator of Nerd Fitness, and comes across as a cool and caring dude. He takes the time to really explain things when he writes. His book, Level Up Your Life, is also very informative and useful. We recommend grabbing the audiobook form along with the physical/e-book copy. That’s what we did.

We’ll definitely do a review of Level Up Your Life eventually- I’m setting to re-read it soon here, so likely after that. After that super brief shout out to a man who deserves more, let’s head to the main content.

Nerd Fitness is exactly what it sounds like: Fitness for nerds, by nerds. Truthfully, it’s fitness for everyone, but built on all the nerdy references. Nerd Fitness calls its members the “rebellion”, as part of a sort of storyline to help you… Well, Level Up your life.

The rebellion is built on making getting healthy more fun and into an adventure. Your goal is as it should be: To “level up” your life. See what Steve did there? The things you can level are split into three important categories: Mindset, Nutrition, and Fitness.

Fitness and Nutrition probably sound pretty obvious: Getting fit, getting healthy, losing weight… Everyone tells you it’s all about diet and exercise. But Nerd Fitness ties it all together with the most important part: Getting your mind in order to actually keep the progress you see.

As Nerd Fitness will teach you, one of the big reasons diets and exercies regimens fail is a lack of habit building. You get to your goal, then go back to what you were doing before you started. Often, this will just bring you right back to where you were when you started, and make you unhappy. Keep in mind, using a generalized you here. For all I know, you specifically are a record breaking body builder or a ninja or something.

I really doubt any ninja other than myself are here.

You’re not even a ninja anymore, just a badass warrior. Hush. Anyway, the point is, Nerd Fitness doesn’t just teach you about how food works with your body, or against it, or how to move said body in a way that gets you those gainz- They want to help you build the habits that will keep those gainz. Or that weight loss.

Stop saying gainz, it’s not cool.

Hush. I wasn’t going for cool.

Riiiiight. Let’s move to what else Nerd Fitness can offer you: The forums and the programs. We haven’t hit the forums in quite a while, but we can still tell you there’s a lot of love and care there. Other rebels are there to encourage you, hold you accountable for what you say you plan to do, and especially to help you celebrate your wins- Big and small.

The programs are there to help guide you, in one way or another. I’ve got the Nerd Fitness Academy – Women program, personally, but I’ve tried a couple others as well. In fact, I got to be one of the intro folks given a free trial for the latest offering: Nerd Fitness Prime. Prime offers you access to several of the Nerd Fitness programs for one price, and also gives you access to Nerd Fitness Journey – A mobile app to help you on your way. (Side note: Anyone with academy at the time Prime released, if I remember correctly, got a free trial of prime. So don’t think I’m special, at least not like that. 🙂 )

The Academy, one of the offerings included in Prime, is kinda what it sounds like: Courses designed to help you learn and grow in the three core elements. Instead of “classes”, you get Quests. Each quest will give your created character, representing yourself, experience points. Get enough points, you level up. And it’s all an “at your own pace” thing!

Nerd Fitness also offers other courses. During the course of our Prime trial, we tried the Yoga package. It’s similar to Academy, but it’s focused on yoga and what it can do for you. I never realized just how hard yoga could be until I tried that module.

It was certainly funny to watch.

You are so mean.

Next! We have the Rings and Handstand courses. The Rings course is for using, well, rings- Specifically, the kind you see gymnists using. The Handstand course, naturally, is to teach you to do a handstand.

These side courses are cheaper than the Academy itself, since they cover less material. I haven’t tried the Handstand one, and I really have no inclination towards the Rings set, but I hear good things about both. If I try them, I’ll give a separate review of them.

Really, we intend to do more in-depth reviews of Academy and Level Up Your Life later, anyway. Yoga, too.

Now, we move to the personalized offering: Nerd Fitness Coaching. It’s exactly what it sounds like: A personalized coaching program, tailored the the Nerd Fitness way of getting healthy! As you onboard, you’ll be asked various questions about your goals and your Big Why. Your Big Why is the absolute core reason, boiled down, that you want to achieve your goals. For example, my Big Why is to become a real ninja, master of my own body and everything it does. Your big why could be as simple as “I want to be able to play with my kids/grandkids without wearing out so darn fast” or “I want to be able to look in the mirror and love what I see” and so on. Here’s an article on forming your Big Why from Nerd Fitness, I recommend checking it out.

Once your goals and Big Why have been explained, you’ll be matched with a coach that the team feels will be most able to help you reach them! The coach will help you build habits, tailor workouts to your specific goals and body type and all, and help you stay on track by holding you accountable. Through the app they have for the program, the coach will reach out and check in on a daily basis, or more if need be, and you can report your progress. At about $197 bucks for a new client, it’s also a lot more affordable than some personal trainer programs, and can always be made to fit your schedule. I absolutely loved this, but my finances tanked and I could no longer afford it. I’ll be returning when, eventually, I’m more financially stable.

For all of these resources, you also have a huge community behind you. Facebook groups, the forums, and even a discord server for Prime, you have people all around the world going on the same journey as you and willing to support you and give you advice. You can share your big wins, your small wins, your ups and downs, and know that you’ve got a support group behind you.

Nerd Fitness also had a great story going, Rising Heroes, but they’ve since closed enrollment for that program. Kendra was one of the first couple of waves of enrollment for that offering, and it was amazing!

I had to stop when my finances tanked, as it was also a subscription service, but I did absolutely love the story. You became an agent of the rebellion, fighting a Shadow Organization trying to take over the world by making people lazy and unhealthy. The story was deep, and the outcomes changed based on what you and the other agents did in real life. You missions actually mattered, and doing your share helped the rebellion to succeed.

We expect much more amazingness to continue to come from Steve and the Nerd Fitness team for the forseeable future. They’re always working to help make your health more fun and potentially easier or less scary.

And I’ll be right there, the whole time, to experience everything I can. I hope that you check out Nerd Fitness as there’s really something there for everyone. Even if you only read their free articles or sign up for their toolkit, it will definitely help you get started or continue on your fitness/health journey. Keep an eye out for my separate reviews of the various offerings of Nerd Fitness on their own, since this was really kind of just an overview review. If you’re already a user of Nerd Fitness, leave a comment telling me what you like best! If you give it a try, let me know what part you tried and how you like it! And come back soon for more from Short and Scorch.

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How We Relax And De-Stress

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So, Shorty… What’s your favorite way to relax? Unwind and calm down from a long, stressful day?

Well… I like to cook a nice dinner, maybe take a nice, hot bath, meditate before bed… What about you?

It depends on the day. I definitely sleep better if I meditate before bed, even if only for a few minutes. The sound of a keyboard clacking or a pencil scratching is so soothing. Same with a cat, specifically one of mine, purring in my ear. Dancing in the rain is always a fun time, and makes me feel so much calmer-

Until you get sick.

Only if I don’t dry off and warm up right, hush. Reading, depending on the story, is also a great way to unwind. Some stories just make me think more, though.

So, do you have to be writing something productive for typing and writing to help?

Nah, I can literally just write out the alphabet twenty times and feel better. With typing, I either just start out a story I’ll never finish just to get words out, or I listen to music and type out choice lines from songs I listen to.

Well, that sounds like good ways to relax. Do they always work?

Hand writing does. I don’t know a time that it doesn’t, really. But the rest are dependent. Well, the rain is dependent on it actually raining. My cats aren’t helpful if they’re wanting super snuggles and it is HOT in the house. The keyboard requires more energy for me some days than others, and meditation always seems to help, at least with sleeping, but it’s hard to focus for it. Reading, as I already said, depends on the story.

What about music? Is there any music that soothes you?

A couple songs- “Shana’s Theme” from the Legend of Dragoon soundtrack is so soothing. Admittedly, when I was younger, she was my second favorite character.

Behind Rose, right?

Duh. Really, Shana’s still a favorite of mine, but Albert has definitely risen in my esteems. Anyway, music- “Here Comes A Thought” from Steven Universe is also a good, calming song. Really, those are the only two guaranteed to settle my soul, though “So What” from P!nk does usually make me smile.

Very nice. It’s good that you know tricks to de-stress. Not everyone works the same when it comes to this, so some people have real trouble finding things that work for them.

You’re telling me. It’s taken me a long time to realize what really works for me to calm down. Hey, maybe some of our suggestions will help some readers figure out their own techniques.

I hope so- Less stress is hard to come by at times.

Monologued Dialogue

Giving Myself A Pep Talk

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Is it weird that I talk to myself so much? Especially so publicly as in a blog?

I mean, maybe? Depends on how you look at it, kid. You’re a writer by nature. A lot of people might see this as just a fancy writing exercise you’ve shared with the world. Some will see it as a sign of mental illness, even if I bring more good than harm. Still others may see me as a psychic manifestation of a guardian spirit. It won’t help on the second point if you say “talking to myself” when describing this.

Heh, true enough. I have noticed, however, that it’s hard to describe this in other terms. How would you do it?

Well…. as a deeper looking into your own thought processes and reasoning. Or, as a writing exercise, if that pleases people more.

But is it really a writing exercise? I wouldn’t need two voices for that, would I?

True, but it sort of is a writing exercise, as well as a deeper look into your mind. With how you write my parts, I don’t see what else to call it. We both know I’m not real, you don’t pretend that I am, so I wouldn’t think others might see you as delusional. You let your deeper thoughts come through, or try to, and name them after a character. I would say you also gave these thoughts my personality, but my personality is really just a more reasonable and allow version of yours. Well, in this incarnation, at least.

I hear ya- though I really wonder if this is, or will be, more than entertainment for anyone ever….

Everything on the internet affects everyone in different ways. This could inspire another writer to create a story about someone learning and growing this way. Hell, a future you could.

Not with my project completion rate. I have too many ongoing projects as it is.

You’ll get there. You just need to figure out a prioritization system that works for you. Maybe focus down on your new project first, its got real promise as something you can finish. Finishing one story will give you confidence.

I mean… maybe? Its hard to feel that way, seeing my beastie able to finish projects, even if they’re just NaNos or fanfics. Hell, she’s done writing for charity. And I’m just over here, talking to myself and starting more and more projects that I may never finish.

What will you do about it? Stop focusing on your thoughts to sort them, as we’re doing now? Give up on writing, one of your favorite activities? Or will you pick a project, focus on it, and complete it? Focus on Hero’s Spirit, as you’re calling it, a project you’ve admitted should be easier to finish. Likewise, it would be a series you would enjoy to read if someone else wrote it. Give yourself time to write each night, or to type what you’ve written through the day, and focus on this project. 2021 could be the year you finish a story.

Yeah… Yeah, I can do that, I guess. I’ve already written various pieces of this project, I just have to slot them together and add a few more pieces.

And as you make those pieces, you’ll understand the narrative you want better, making it all fit more easily. You always try to write linearly. A puzzle piece approach might be more your style. That’s why you’re having trouble with “Life Is Super”, “Nameless”, and “Taking Back The Kingdom.”

What about “Journey”?

You seem to treat that story like you do Minecraft itself: Gone for a time before you return to play again. You’ll finish that one in your own sweet time.

Heh… I will, if only because I like the ending I have in mind. It’ll be shorter than I originally planned, but it’s hard to think of how to extend it without getting boring or repetitive. I think a lot of people can see the outcome, just not how I’ll get there.

Kid… You don’t know for sure how you’ll get there.

Shhhhhh… Don’t tell the readers that.

Just keep holding on, kid. You’ll make it, long as I’m here for you.

So… As long as I trust myself?

Excatly!

Monologued Dialogue, Nerd Fitness Prompts

Nerd Fitness Prompts – Writing to Improve Mindfulness: Day 1 – Control

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This series will be driven by journaling prompts provided by the team at Nerd Fitness via their Nerd Fitnes Prime program and Journey app beta. I’ve chosen to share these sessions as a means to help others, either by attempting the prompt themselves, or through something discussed in our own conversations.

Today’s prompt: “What things are truly in my control?” These prompts are meant to give guidance on something to think on and write about for a brief period of time, such as 5 minutes.

Need some help figuring out who is Me and who is Shorty? Head over to our “Meet the Family” Page to find out!

So, I’ve decided to tackle my journal prompts from the NF team as a dialogue. You always help me order my thoughts, Shorty.

Thanks, kid. Let’s give it a try!

Alright… Control… I feel like very little is in my control, but I know better. Sometimes, it’s just hard to see.

Well, start with the undeniable. What can only you and no one else control?

Hmm… My thoughts, my actions. Reactions as well. I control my words. How I portray myself.

Very good. Can you expand and give yourself goals based on those? C’mon, kid, let’s take this a step further.

I control my anger, and when to let things go. I can choose to stop holding grudges. I control if I lash out, get offended, let something ruin my day. I can choose to forgive, forget, move on, and be happy.

Excellent. And now that you have it written, you’ll be able to come back to this at need and remember.

I will. Thanks for the assist, Shorty.

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Ideas, plans, and expectations

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Need some help figuring out who is Me and who is Shorty? Head over to our “Meet the Family” Page to find out!

Alright, I officially don’t understand people anymore. It’s nuts. People expect you to care about others, which I certainly do. But you have to balance that with self-care, and people are realizing and accepting this. But then you self-care, and people think you’re selfish or lazy because you’re not concerned about others, or you’re not doing chores, or you’re not spending time with family. Like, where does it end?

Well now, where is this one coming from? You’ve seemed pretty “I’ve got this balance down” level of handling things lately.

From my brother, where else? He has no balance on it, and he’s part of the problem with my own balance. He swings between all he cares about is other people, up to and including forgoing making sure I have money to pay our bills to just give away hundreds of dollars worth of goods. Don’t get me wrong, helping people is great! But he needs to remember that he has to make sure that we’ve got what we need, or we lose utilities, our vehicles, our house… Then, he’ll get so fed up about helping people, he’ll just be a jackass to and about everyone else. He throws fits at the tiniest inconvenience when he’s in this mode, and it makes him sound like an entitled snowflake. And you know I hate that term, Shorty.

Did you consider that most people can’t decide how much is too much, both in terms of self-care and in terms of helping people? Some people give until they’re the ones who need the help, and that’s definitely too much. But then others only self-care, all day, every day. Nothing gets done, and they don’t do anything to look out for their fellow man.

It’s just nuts. Like, I can’t get time to learn a new language, or work harder on my streaming, or even to write, whether for the blog or just stories, because then I’m lazy. And if I ask for help with anything so that I can get things done and still have some time for self-care, I’m lazy and I get a lot of push-back. Like, dude, I’m a depressed and anxious young lady already that’s trying to clean up after others, and myself, and I also try to make time to help others in any way I can. How am I the bad guy here?

You’re only the bad guy if you’re not being true to you, you’re being actively hurtful to others, or you just don’t give a shit if you’re accidentally hurtful to others. Do you think you fit into one of those categories?

Honestly… I just don’t know anymore. Is that really the only categorizations for bad guys? I’ll have to think about that one some more…

Think all you need. You know I’ll be here for you as you need.

Monologued Dialogue

The Return

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Need some help figuring out who is Me and who is Shorty? Head over to our “Meet the Family” Page to find out!

Well, things are starting to settle down a bit… So here we are, back to it. I’m not sure how it’s going to go, or if we’re going to even entertain anyone, but… Well, we’re here.

Don’t doubt yourself, kid. You’re a great writer, and people like your work. Just update regularly, and I’m sure it’ll all be fine.

If you say so… I should start streaming again, too. Or start making videos again. Maybe I’ll start the idea I had of writing on video, to show my writing process. Ooooh, maybe do a story influenced by my viewers and commenters… Within reason, of course…

That could be a fun idea. See? Everything will be great. Maybe you could stream your story ideas, and have the chat direct the story a bit. Things will be great.

I guess so. Well, here’s to the next fun adventure!