I’ve come to a realization.

Why don’t you sound happy about that?

Because I’m not. I don’t like what I’ve realized.

Oh boy. What is it, then?

You’re the one everyone sees.

What?

You’re the one everyone sees. Out and about, cheerful and energetic. You’re the extrovert, not me. I’ve always been an introvert just good at pretending to be an extrovert, but now I see it. In those positions, it’s you in control and people see you. I’m the one there for my fur babies, relaxing at home with a book or a game, but when other people are there… Mostly, it’s you. Shorty, you’re the cool one, the strong one, the one everyone likes. I’m just… Kinda here.

Well… I love to disagree with you in this case, because you’re wrong.

Wha- Bu-

No, no, hear me out. When we’re out and about and extroverted- Good with customers, good on the phone, smiling and cheerful, initiating conversations… Yeah, that’s me showing. But when we’re alone, and quiet, and have no energy? When we struggle to so much as eat dinner or shower? That’s more… We’ll name that one Exaviour.

Like… One of your old enemies?

Exactly.

Okay, but if you’re my outgoing and positive self, and Exaviour is me the rest of the time… Where exactly do I fit in?

Well, you’re both of us. We’re the way you present yourself, but you are both of us in some way or another. I mean… You have the capability to be me, or I wouldn’t be a presentation you show. Likewise, you have the capability to be Exaviour, to be basically a withdrawn couch potato. But which one you ultimately, truly are is up to you. You can be capable, successful, and couragous. You can be withdrawn, doubtful, and alone. You choose, simply by the choices you make. When you make choices that put you in positions where I present, then you start skewing more towards me. When you cancel plans and allow yourself time for Exaviour to rule, you begin to slide towards him.

So… What you’re saying is, I’m allowing myself to be a loser and a loner? I’m not trying hard enough?

No. What I’m saying is, there is a part of you that enjoys that, and a part of you that does not. Regardless if I present or not, you are still an introvert and get tired from being social. Your battery, as you see it, drains. You allow Exaviour out in an attempt to recharge. There’s nothing wrong with that! Everyone needs down time. But, when you’re recharged, you can still choose to continue charging. Have you noticed that you get tired of social things faster the more you’ve been alone?

Yeah…

Much like a phone battery, over-charging can damage your battery life. Likewise, letting your battery be too low for too long can cause you problems. There’s a balance, but you decide what that balance is, and if you’d prefer to balance towards me or Exaviour. Even when you’re alone, you can still balance towards me by doing just one thing at a time that you know you need to, but don’t want to. Washing dishes. Mopping. Laundry. It doesn’t have to be hard, just something to get you doing something more Shorty-like and less Exaviour-like.

So… I’m both my good, public side and my not-so-great private side, but I can skew more toward my public persona by just making one or two choices at a time?

Exactly.

That’s some real self-help bullshit if I’ve ever heard it. But damn, you’re right. I mean, look at the Exaviour part of me that says I’ll never finish any projects? It gets quieter the closer I get to completing Taking Back The Kingdom, the more I work on my new project. They aren’t finished yet, the new project not even close, but the closer I get… The more I prove that I can do it, if I just allow myself. Admittedly, Taking Back The Kingdom won’t be finished finished with the final chapter being posted.

No, because it’s 100% all first drafts. If you ever decide to publish it as an actual book, you’ll need to flesh it out more, revise, proofread… What have you. But, you’ll have gotten to a true stopping point with the story. I say, once you finish that, pick another project on the site and work on. Because if you do, you give Exaviour less room to work with. And when you get home from work tomorrow, since you get home just in time to shower and sleep tonight?

Um… Dishes?

Sounds like a plan. See, we’re taking the steps needed to shift you more towards me and less towards Exaviour.