All posts by Kendra Short

Growth

You’re growing.

… Look, I know I’ve put on a little weight, but I’m working on that. No need to call me out, sheesh.

That’s not what I meant and you know it, dork. You aren’t needing me to get through the day anymore. There’s still room for me, a place for my existence, but I’m not needed. Just wanted. I’m okay with that.

I mean… I’m learning how to manage myself better. Handle my stress better. I suppose I am doing it without asking you to take an active role in the process. But I am calling on my deities more, isn’t that just replacing you with a different power?

No. The difference is in how you’re doing it. You allow your deities to answer questions and help guide, but they mostly aren’t taking a direct active role. With me, you wanted direct and active help.

You aren’t worried I’ll get rid of you, are you?

Of course not. Look at how I’ve evolved as we’ve grown. So long as you have a goal to strive for, I will be that goal personified. Wasn’t that how you first thought of me, after removing my original fandom origins? A version of you that you wanted to be. Has that really changed?

No, not really. You have, but not that.

Your coping mechanisms have changed. Your goals have changed, and grown. But I will always be here, walking with you through the fires and across the lands.

Thanks, Shorty. I think… I think I needed this.

A Letter To Myself – 32 Year Old to 22 Year Old

To preface this letter, I want to say that this idea was inspired by the song “Crave” by Paramore. It’s really put a lot of my past in perspective simply by making me look at it from where I am now.


Dear 22 Year Old Me,

Life is tough. Right now, you’re struggling with depression and not understanding why you aren’t seeing things the way those around you are. Two years out of college, living far from your safety net. Every day is something new, something unpredictable.

I want to tell you, you’ll be okay. You can make it through this and come out stronger. Indulge your curious nature and learn all you can about the world around you. Expand your passions and embrace them. Take it all one step at a time, but do not be afraid to ask for help.

When you get to where we are now, you’re going to look back on these ten years and realize… You don’t want to change a second of it. After all you will learn about yourself, after all you will overcome, you will come out of this stretch a stronger person.

Embrace the changes as they come. Learn and grow, every chance you get. I know you can, because I know you will. We get to this point not by hiding away when things get hard, but by taking the problems head on and refusing to back down. To quote the song that inspired this letter, “Look up and see a reflection of someone who never gave way to the pain.”

There will be days where it seems better to just give up. But remember that the best option and the easy option aren’t always the same. Giving up is easy, but pushing through and growing is far more rewarding.

The world is going to get scarier. A lot of things out of your control will change around you and even out from under you. While you may not have all the tools to handle it right now, you will when they hit. No matter how scared you are, keep moving forward and let your friends, family, and faith guide you. Be open to the changes in your perspective, and to the perspectives of those around you. That will give you everything you need to make it through.

You’re going to find love, and heartbreak. You’re going to gain very important people to your life, and you’re going to lose some too. These are the rules of the game, and you can’t change them. But how you handle them will change everything.

Remember that you are loved, you underestimate yourself even more than your opponents do, and you are your biggest obstacle. You can also be your biggest ally if you just allow yourself to try.

Keep learning, keep growing, and keep looking out for those around you. Making a difference even for just one person is worth all the effort.

Love always,
32 Year Old Me

Well That Didn’t Work – Why Plans for August Fell Through and What Comes Next

August was not the month I was expecting it to be.

Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t the worst month in the world. But, it was a month where I had planned to start exercising more consistently. It was a month where I had intended to start a monthly project on the blog and start being more consistent with that.

And then life happened. Mostly, not taking proper care of myself started to catch up to me. End of July, start of August, I was experiencing odd hand pain. I’d had this issue off and on for over a year, but it always went away after a day or two. Not this time. This time, it lasted a long while.

I got worried, I admit. I was afraid it was carpal tunnel. I went to a doctor, we tried a couple things, then he referred me to a hand doc that’s really good here in town. Thankfully, turns out it was tendonitis. Unfortunately, I didn’t get that appointment until the beginning of September.

And then there was work. And class. And more work. I had been fighting burnout at my main job as tier 2 tech support, then I opted to apply for our company’s leadership training program. It’s a full on weekly class for several months. I got in. Then I started a second job because the budget got messed up at my main job, keeping me from getting a raise until they straight out how they’re doing raises.

I am starting to get all of this under control, so its time to start looking at the blog again. Now, I hadn’t quite selected a monthly project yet, but I was given an idea for just occassional posts here. I started therapy for my (shiny new diagnosis of) ADHD, and my therapist (one I had seen in the past, and I think she’s pretty awesome at it) suggested I maybe start writing posts about how ADHD affects my life. I like that idea, so I am going to start doing that. It might help me to better understand what my brain is doing and why I struggle with some things, and it may help others who either don’t know they have ADHD or don’t realize some of the things they struggle with aren’t just them.

That won’t be this post, but I am working on ideas. It also won’t be the consistent project. My consistent project may, for now, just be short writing exercises that don’t really go anywhere. Time will tell, and I may have a better idea later.

This post is instead about how things currently stand. You’ve heard the personal update, and my current plans, now I want to address something that feels huge for me: stats for the site itself.

For the longest time, the main views here have been on my first Nerd Fitness review. That was fine with me, but nearly every day all the views were solely on that one post. It felt like all that my blog mattered for was my review of a service I love. I accepted this, though, as at least the site was getting some sort of views.

This has changed, however. Lately, when I look at the views on the site, other posts are getting views. That original review is still occassionally getting viewed, but it no longer has daily views or the majority of what comes in on any given day. There are days where I get double digit views and they’re all more recent posts instead of that one from a couple years ago. This has been huge for my outlook on keeping this going, as I have considered just dropping it due to lack of interest.

As I’ve said before, sometimes it’s the little things that make all the difference. I am still (slowly) working on my first book, I am still coming up with new ideas all the time, and I am still thinking about things I can write and post here. In fact, I do have another post I intend to put up in a few days, once I’ve gotten it down without crying. (It’s one of those, I’m sorry.)

As per usual, it (and this post) will be entirely stream of thought. That’s how I make these posts real, by not heavily editing them. While that might make some of the writing on the actual stories a little iffy, most first go’s are like that. Nothing is ever perfect the first time you do it, and writing anything down is the same.

For now, I’ll leave things there. Keep an eye out for my next post sometime this week or early next!

Fighting Through Blocks, and Ideas for This Site’s Future

Today has been… insane. I went to work, had a normal morning after a tough day yesterday, and went to lunch with my brother while he was in town running errands.

Then, a notification hit my phone. Today, I’ve gotten 85 views so far. This is over double my last highest, from June!

While I’ve been able to write a few things and get a few ideas since June’s post, I haven’t made any progress on my current projects. This happens even to professional and published writer’s.

I actually had the pleasure to meet a published author, Brian Paone, at a book release for his newest book, These Walls Still Talk, last month. We met last year while he was finishing writing it, and I got to ask him about the publishing industry. He was really cool to talk to, as an aspiring author, and my mom and I picked up a few of his books while there. I mentioned struggling with where I’m at in my book, and Brian gave me a bit of insight into his own rough areas while writing. It’s really cool to know a published author has his own struggles with the art form.

All this fan-girling (I am a huge fan at this point, quite honestly) is just to say… that interaction helped my confidence as a writer a bit. I’ve come to realize that, maybe, by documenting my struggles with finishing and publishing my first book, I may similarly be able to help inspire and boost the confidence of future aspiring authors.

I’m going to try a few new things to help de-stress myself in the hopes that will help loosen up the writer’s block, including actually taking up journaling. While my current sights are only on publishing a book and certainly not on getting famous or making loads of money, I still want to use what I learn as I go to help others who stand beside me now in their own journeys or come after me in the future.

If I one day gain even a small fan following, I want to be able to help my fans like Brian has now done for me.


On that note, here are my thoughts on this blog going forward.

Right now, and honestly for the foreseeable future, this blog is rough and raw. Aside from typos I catch after posting or small updates that need made, I don’t edit what goes up here. It all flows from the brain to the keyboard as is. If you’ve read a few non-story posts, I’m sure you’ll have noted the rambly nature of them.

Story posts are similar. While I might edit a tad as I write it, all story posts that go up on this site are first drafts. I only edit later if I see a typo that’s bothering me or a phrasing comes off way wrong for what I meant, but never huge content changes.

I plan to continue that style here for now. It may change as I continue to develop as a writer, but while this blog remains a hobby and a side project that I cannot afford to devote more time to, that’s what I will stick with.

I am going to start brainstorming a few smaller projects like Taking Back the Kingdom to post here as dedicated blog stories. Shorter than a typical novel and unedited, but something to entertain people. I don’t have ideas for that plan yet, but once I have one I hope to be able to post an update a month to it.

I haven’t had a good monologued dialogue gor quite a while, so Shorty and I may be back with those monthly or bi-monthly as well. I haven’t decided yet, as writing those takes a lot of energy for me.

But the important point is… I want to give this blog more energy, more time, and more love. I can’t continue to grow by waiting for eyes and then creating content for them. I have to start having the content ready for when these small waves in viewership happen, in the hopes that either someone will come back for more or something I write sticks with them in a way that improves their lives.

Thank you for reading, and if you stick around for the journey ahead, I hope I live up to your expectations. (And go check out Brian at his link above, show him some love for me!)

Unexpected Wins, and The Effect They Have

Today was shaping up to be an okay day, but not perfect. Work has been up and down, but not bad.

Then one little notification turned this from an okay day to an amazing one.

Turns out, I’ve had 31 views on the site as of the time of writing this. The pessimist in me wants to claim it’s all just bots. The realist in me sees its been 2 viewers and wants to think its some sort of glitch on their end.

But I’m taking it at face value. And unexpected win. Because that win has driven me to make a new post, after a long silence.

I’ve been struggling with the worst case of writer’s block I’ve ever had. Normally, a block for me is just for one project, maybe two. This time, I’ve written hardly anything since my last post. My brain just doesn’t want to cooperate.

This unexpected win, though… This has opened at least a little of the dam. I won’t know until I’m at home and can look at working on projects, but I was able to at least work on this. I’ll take that.

Sometimes, its the little wins that give you the biggest boost. For someone struggling to get going in the morning, just making your bed can be that little win that changes the game.

If you get stuck in the middle of a project and have several problems holding things up, sometimes fixing just the smallest project can give you the momentum to solve the rest.

One of my dearest dreams is to publish a novel. Finishing Taking Back the Kingdom showed me I do have what it takes to finish a manuscript, and that was a huge win that gave me the courage to start writing the projects I’m currently working on. But in the midst of writer’s block, when the words just don’t flow to the page how they should, seeing that eyes are on me and my work helps immensely.

To any who do read this and feel what I’m saying, thank you. Even when no one comments, the fact that the view number goes up still gives me something to call a win. If you’re struggling with motivation or a project right now, look for the little win, the unexpected win. You never know where that little boost will take you.

Growth of a Writer – How I Have Grown and Improved in My Craft

Something I’m learning as I put actual effort into writing a project that I actually, truly, completely intend to one day publish is that… writing is a lot harder when it isn’t just for fun.

I’ve been writing in some form or another for fun since elementary school. One of my earliest memories of writing as for a writing club in the 3rd or 4th grade. (It was a spooky ghost story that I do not at all remember the plot of. But there was a skeleton key, I remember that much.) I wasn’t super consistent on specific projects as a little kid, but I did do it.

At some point, I found role-playing through Neopets forums. I made my first OC based on Naruto, and she has evolved and stayed with me since.

Spoiler alert, it’s me, Shorty Scorch, I’m the OC. And yes, I am still here.

Shorty, this was meant to be a solo post.

I am fully aware. And I decided… nah, this will be both of us. I’m a large part of your adventure and journey, it feels fair I get to be here for this.

Well, I guess this does at least show what I mean by you’ve evolved and stayed with me. Shorty’s not tied to the Naruto-verse anymore, and has her own stand-alone world that I’m developing.

She still does some roleplays on occasion, though only with one person at this point. It’s a lot of work to find stable writing partners that want to write the same thing as you.

I suppose that brings up a good point. I should clarify, the roleplaying I do is game or writing, nothing more than that. And not the “pretend you’re this and reacting to that” kind of writing, either. Where two or more people write a story together. It’s basically D&D without the dice and DM.

And without the complicated rules, you’re literally just trying to make a fun story with another person or people.

Anyway, I got into roleplaying, and I started writing my first story. It didn’t get finished, and I don’t even remember where exactly it was going. I do recall it was a fantasy story about a group of girls discovering that not only are dragons real, but they each had a dragon to bond with.

From there, my stories evolved and grew as I learned. Going back and writing some of my earliest work I can find, I can see the growth.

Doesn’t mean she’s the best writer in the world now, just that she’s better than she once was.

Pretty much. I’ve stopped comparing myself to other writers I read, and started just comparing myself to myself. If my writing is improving over time, then I’m doing my job as a writer correctly by learning and growing.

I’m currently working on my worldbuilding skills. I know I also need to improve with regards to descriptions, of characters and places. Action scenes are also on my list. And pacing is something I will always need to improve on. After all, some stories need to be super fast paced, and some a bit slower. It all depends on the kind of story you’re trying to tell.

She also needs to start figuring out editing and reworking, if she wants to publish anything she’s currently working on.

True. And Just Super might stop being posted from this point, depending. I do want to publish it as a book, and I don’t want to put the whole story online ahead of time. But, I haven’t decided yet. What goes on the blog is a rough draft, after all.

All of this is to say… If you’re interested in something, get started. You may be surprised where you end up. Am I some huge successful author, with several best selling books out and making money? No, nor do I expect to be. I’m going to be happy having even just one book published in my lifetime, even if I have to do it myself.

But I am better than I was yesterday. I sometimes wonder how good an artist I could have been, had I not decided I was trash and put zero effort into improving. I will never, however, wonder how good of a writer I could have been, because this is my passion. I’ve loved writing for a long time. And as a little kid, I never could have imagined I would actually get this far, having my own blog that actually gets read by other people.

Thanks for reading, and following us down memory lane. Maybe one day, I’ll be able to post a follow-up to this about where I’ve grown from here.

Just Super (Working Title) – Part 6

When we got to the house, I led the way in. “I’m home!”

“Alix!” Grandma came hurrying over to check on me, pausing only a moment when she saw my mother. “You’re okay? Valiant called and said you were but… We were so worried!”

“I’m fine. And we have company, as you’ve noticed. She wanted to talk a minute.” Grandma nodded and led us to the living room, where the TV was on the news. I stopped and looked.

It was my standing up to the rouge, Jet and Hurricane backing away as I faced the building and spoke. I felt odd, watching that scene. I didn’t see what I expected to see, a young woman trying to be brave after a terrifying experience. Instead, for a brief moment, I was a little kid again, watching a strong hero stand up to evil even as others around her showed fear. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would ever look like the people I had grown up watching and admiring. Even on the broadcast, I could see faces light up with hope, relief, admiration.

“You grew up well,” my mother commented as she stepped into the room and saw what I was looking at. “I knew you would. You didn’t need me.”

“No, I managed without you. It’s not the same,” I answered quietly. “There were… So many nights I woke up screaming for you. So many days I came home from school and just wanted my mother. I coped. It doesn’t mean I didn’t need you.”

“You didn’t. You just thought you did.” There was something in her voice. I couldn’t quite tell what it was. Hurt? Anger? Sadness? “Even if you did then, you don’t now. You’re a strong young woman, out saving lives. You don’t need your mommy to help you.”

“Nonsense, Bella, dear,” Grandma cut in, her voice full of love. I still couldn’t look away from that image on the screen, even if it had since changed. “You still need me as much as you always have. You’ve just gone a bit astray, that’s all. Just like when you would get lost in the store as a child. Alix will never say it to you, but all she wants is her mother back.”

“No. All I want, now, is to put a stop to this before someone gets hurt. I gave up on getting my mother back years ago.” What was that voice? Who was that woman talking? “I want to protect people, keep them as safe as is reasonable. Keep villains from destroying their lives. Keep my friends safe. Keep my family, what I have left of it, safe.” There was fire in this voice, and determination. It was firm, solid, steady.“And… If I can, I want to save Micah from whatever this mess is. There has to be a way to get through to him and snap him out of whatever he’s after. Or help him get it in a better way.”

If I could sound like this, feel like this, could I really be as great a hero as Valiant or my dad? I felt like one, as I turned to face the two older women in the room. I felt like I could stop any threat, great or small, to the people of my city. Grandma smiled warmly at me, and my mother looked away. Was that a tear in her eye? No, she wouldn’t get emotional over a little speech.

And that speech! I didn’t do speeches! What had gotten into me? Who did I think I was?

“Just like your father,” my mother sighed, rubbing her face. Wiping her eyes? She turned and smiled ruefully at me. “He was always positive he could stop the world’s ills all by himself. Ultimately, that’s what did him in. Alix, not every rogue or villain can have a happy ending. Some of us delude ourselves into thinking we can settle down and grow old with someone, but it will always come crashing down. Micah won’t change just because you decide to try and help him. If he’s gone rogue, he’s gone.”

“Just because you’ve given up on the world doesn’t mean that everyone has, Belladonna,” I growled. Funny, I had never seen that look on my grandmother’s face before. Nothing ever seemed to startle her. It wasn’t fear, though. More… Concerned surprise. “I am going to do everything I can to help my cousin, because that’s what family does. We stick together and help each other. You may suck at that, but I don’t. I won’t abandon him.”

I don’t think she liked me using her villain name. Her face only got redder as I spoke. “You don’t even know him, idiot. He’s not the fun loving little guy you knew when you two were little. You haven’t the slightest idea what makes him tick, or how to negotiate with him. No one does.”

“Girls, that is enough. Bella, Alix is right, she has to try.” Grandma was always a voice of reason.

“No she doesn’t! She doesn’t need to throw herself into this and get herself killed! Not if I can stop that from happening!” I stared at my mother, confused. “I’m not going to watch her throw herself at the impossible, like Levi did!”

That confused me. No one had ever given me details of Dad’s final mission. “Wait… What do you mean? Dad just died in an accident, didn’t he?” My mother stopped, her face paling again as she looked away from me.

“He tried… He tried to stop a fire. A five story building fire that had been raging for too long. There… There were people trapped inside, children, and… No one was getting it under control. It was too large for a pyro to put out, but he tried it anyway.” Her voice was so soft, I had to strain to hear.

“They got all the civilians out, your father was the only death. You know how it is, dear. A pyro can redirect some of a large fire, but… Not control it completely. And to drain its power… There’s nowhere to go but into the pyro. That’s too much even for a fire resistant body to handle,” Grandma told me gently.

So, now I knew. Dad didn’t just die in an accident, he did the one thing all pyros knew was a death sentence. It was the real reason Hurricane couldn’t stop storms, according to her. Why an aquamancer couldn’t stop the tides, and terraformers couldn’t stop earthquakes. Energy couldn’t just disappear.

“I refuse to let you do something as stupid as he did. Micah clearly wants you dead. I will not let you make it easy for him. I’ll call in favors to have you locked away safely, if I have to.” 

Why was she acting so protective of me? “You disappeared from my life for 14 years. You walked away, then told everyone on national television that you have no family, no parents, no spouse, no children. Do you even understand what seeing that as a kid, at 16 and just starting to figure out who I was, did to me?” Why was I crying? I was over this. I’d been over this for a few years now. “You abandoned me, and Grandma, and Grandpa, and Dad’s memory, and for what? To go ‘rule the world’ or get rich or something? What do you even want as a villain, huh? You had everything you could ever need here, or were we just not good enough for you?” 

I saw Grandpa peeking into the room with a concerned look. Why hadn’t he jumped in before this? I knew he was pissed at her. Why wasn’t he in here, chewing her ass like he would do to me if I did something stupid?

“That’s not it-”

“Then what?! You said this wasn’t revenge, you wanted to cause change. Well, what change is more important to you than your own daughter? What change was worth missing all my school dances, my sports, my graduation? What could you possibly do without me that’s worth more than me, than us?” I couldn’t see her, or Grandma and Grandpa for the tears. I hadn’t cried like this since I watched her on TV, renouncing any family connections she had.

“You won’t understand, Alix. You won’t understand because you can’t understand. You have a hero’s way of thinking. You see things differently than I ever could, and I see things differently than you can.”

“You should try,” Grandpa scolded, his voice properly gruff. “You don’t know what people will understand if you aren’t brave enough to tell them. Alix is a smart girl. She knows villains tend to see things differently, different means to different ends. She isn’t afraid to admit that, either. But she at least tries to understand, so she can try to help people without causing more harm.”

I wiped my eyes to see my mother shaking her head, wiping her own eyes. “No. At least, not now. Not tonight. Alix… Why don’t you go rest? You’ve had a long day, too long. I want to talk to your grandparents for a few minutes before I leave.”

Grandma moved over to hug me and usher me out. “Go on, dear. Shower. Sleep. You’re exhausted, I can see it in your face. Bella won’t do anything to cause trouble, not tonight.”

“Okay… Goodnight, Grandma. I love you,” I said softly.

“I love you too, dear. Goodnight, and sleep tight.”

Just Super (Working Title) – Part 5

I didn’t answer right away. She had been gone from my life for years, left me alone at one of the toughest times of my life. I didn’t owe her a conversation.

But Valiant had said to hear her out. He had never steered me wrong, and he was positive it wasn’t a trap or he wouldn’t have even brought it up. That had to count for something.

“Alright. You got somewhere in mind?” She nodded and gestured for me to follow her to a car parked on the street. We both got in and buckled, and off she went. “So… What, you saw me in trouble and had to check in?” I asked after a few minutes of silence. “I’m sure you’ve known I was in the hero business for a while now.”

“Actually… I didn’t until today. I don’t pay attention to any heroes below gold,” She replied evenly. “If I started to, for anything less than a major event, questions would be asked that neither of us want asked. But I knew when I heard you take charge of your team, and when I came on to assure your team we were on it. Yes, I did want to ensure you were unharmed. But that’s not the only reason we need to talk.”

“Because of the rogue.” It wasn’t a question, since I knew for sure now that I was the target. “You said you know who it is, and I believe we both know who the target is.”

“That would be correct. He’s been on our radar for a few months. He wasn’t doing anything actively wrong, but there were a few suspicious behaviors that our analysts had picked up on, so he’s been on our watchlist for possible rogue activity. Looks like we were right.” She parked by a small house and sighed. “I know it sounds odd, villains watching for rogues, but they ruin more of our plans than people would expect. His little stunt tonight interrupted three preparations that some of our people were making, and actively ruined two other plans that will need reworked. No, I won’t be giving you details, not while you’re a hero.” She got out. “Come on, I’ve got this place so locked down the governments best spies couldn’t tap into it.”

“I’ll take your word for it,” I sighed, getting out and following her. Once inside, she stopped and looked at me a moment.

“Before we talk, call and let your grandparents know you’re safe and you’ll be home in just a bit. You can tell them you’re with me if you like, or you can tell them whatever will make them worry the least. Your collapse was, unfortunately, televised.”

She had the right idea, that was certain, so I did as instructed. I told them the truth about where I was, as I don’t lie to them if I can help it, but also told them I’d be home as soon as our talk was over. While they didn’t like it, they said they understood.

“Grandma says to tell you hello,” I reported as I got off the phone. “Grandpa is… Less friendly towards you right now.” My mother sighed, but nodded.

“He always was one to hold a grudge. I can’t say I blame him. Come, sit, let’s talk.” She led me into a living room and took a seat in a recliner, waving a hand to invite me to take any other seat. I took one on a nearby couch, giving myself some distance from her, but not across the room or anything. “Now… I know I am not your favorite person. I don’t expect to be. I abandoned you, and this is not my attempting to come back begging for forgiveness. I am concerned for your safety, whether you believe that or not. But I know you, and I know you take after your father. You aren’t simply going to walk away from this threat. So, I will give you the information I have so you can handle whatever comes at you as intelligently as possible.”

“If you were that concerned for my safety, why become a villain and put a target on your back?” I countered. It was stupid, knowing she wanted to give me valuable information, but when you live your life filled with hurt, and the years you develop your sense of identity full of hate, some things are just hard to ignore. I couldn’t help myself, even knowing I shouldn’t risk her changing her mind.

I expected anger, regret, even indifference. I didn’t expect the laugh she let out. “Dear one, the only time I wasn’t a villain was while I was married to your father. Part of why your grandfather is so upset with me. He thought I’d given the life up for good once I’d settled down. In reality, I didn’t want to risk your father and I ever having to choose between our jobs or our marriage. He didn’t know until you were three that I had been a villain.” She smiled, a little sadly. “When we first learned of his passing… I had intended to remain a civilian. But things changed. And once they did, I knew I had to make more changes happen.”

“Like what? What was so important that you had to be a villain for it instead of a hero?” I asked, frowning.

“I can’t explain that now. In time. But I learned something about the incident that took your father… Something that meant I had to fight the heroes, not join them.”

That didn’t make any sense. “You’re insinuating that the Association had something to do with Dad’s death. So this is all revenge?”

“Revenge? No. This is about causing change, by my own actions. You will understand one day.” She shook her head. “No more about this now. We need to discuss the rogue.” I didn’t want to change subjects, but I also knew if I stayed too long, I’d worry my grandparents again. “Now… As I said, we’ve been watching this rogue. You… Actually know him, though I don’t think you two have seen each other since you were little.”

“What?” I asked, startled. “Who?”

“Your cousin, Micah. My brother moved away with him when you both were still quite young, after his mother left them, and then… We lost all contact. I tried to find them a few times over the years, but no luck. Now that he’s back, and we’ve been keeping tabs on him, I notice that he seems to harbor a grudge against you. I haven’t sorted out why yet, you two were close before they moved. If I can get in touch with him directly, I plan to try to talk him down before anyone has to get hurt. If I can’t or he won’t listen… I’d like not to have to use force against family, but if it will be you or him, I will protect you first.”

“I don’t need your protection. I’m an adult, and a hero in my own right.” I shook my head, standing. “But knowing it’s Micah may help. Now I at least have as much of an advantage as he had, we both know who the other is. Have you heard from Uncle Mark?”

“No, and I won’t. In looking into things… He passed away, shortly after they left.” Bella sighed, rubbing her face. “Which might be part of Micah’s deal, jealousy that you had family around you and he did not. I tried to find them… This explains why I couldn’t, not easily.” She offered me an envelope. “That’s… That’s for your grandparents. Give it to my mother first, please. Dad will just rip it up and throw it in the trash, but there’s information in there that they’ll want, including the location of Mark’s grave, should they wish to go visit.”

I didn’t really remember my uncle Mark that well. I was three or four when they moved away, but I had pictures of him taking me and Micah out, as my dad would do with us as well. He had been a good uncle, according to those pictures and the stories I heard about how he’d interacted with us.

Remember him or not, I was upset that not only had he died, it had happened so long ago and we were only just finding out about it. Did he not leave a way for people to find out how to contact us? Had anyone even tried? Micah could have come back and lived with Grandma and Grandpa, or my family until shit hit the fan. Hell, maybe having one more kid to worry about would have stopped whatever campaign my mother was on.

“I’ll give this to them,” I said after a moment, taking the envelope. “Is there anything else I need to know?” She shook her head and stood.

“You won’t believe anything else I’d like to say, and I can’t blame you for that. Let’s get you back to your car so you can get home. Unless you’d rather I drop you off there? You have had an exhausting day.”

I considered the offer. “Drop me off at home, please. And take the opportunity to give Grandma your letter yourself.” She nodded, and we headed out to the car.

Just Super (Working Title) – Part 4

Transport was waiting for us just a couple blocks away, past the crowds, in the form of two ambulances and a van. Hurricane and Jet were already getting checked by medics by the time Thorn and I cleared the crowd. I didn’t make it to the medics.

My vision went blurry without warning, and I heard a loud ringing in my ears, causing me to stop.

“Flare?” Thorn’s voice sounded distant and concerned as a horrible pain came through my head and I crumpled. I was unconscious before anyone knew what was happening.

When I opened my eyes, I could tell I wasn’t actually awake. I had always been a lucid dreamer, at least as long as I could remember. This was different than a usual dream for me, however.

I was looking at my childhood home, which had since been demolished to make way for a larger apartment complex. My dad was sitting on the front steps, smiling and waving me over when he saw me.

“So, you’re a hero now. Always knew you would be. Just thought I’d still be around to give you tips. We’ll just have to make the most of talking like this.” His voice was as crisp and clear as the last time I’d heard him talk, deep but smooth and caring. “Come sit and talk, my little ember, while your friends make sure you’re healthy and whole.”

“You uh… Know about what’s going on?” I asked, coming to sit with him. It was different than I remembered, but then I’d been looking up at him the last I’d seen him. Now, we were nearly the same height.

“I do. This isn’t some dream, kiddo. No, this is a shift in your powers. It happens sometimes, powers morphing or new ones developing that work with existing ones. I believe that’s how Valiant’s dad developed telekinesis. He already had telepathy, and since they often go together, they sometimes develop one after the other.”

“So… Talking with the dead interacts with invisibility or fire?” I asked, doubtful. I’d certainly never heard of that kind of connection.

“Not quite talking with the dead… This is more… Well, I don’t know the official name for it, but you’re more receiving messages through dreams. It’s not super common, but when it has been present, it usually presents with either fire or telepathy. Occasionally also with water, but not as often. And it’s not a power you’re likely to have full control of. Most you’ll be able to do is keep it from affecting you like it did this first time, forcing you out to get a message.”

“Alright… So now I’ve got three powers, one of which I can’t control. And I’m talking to you. What… Kind of message do you have for me?”

“That you need to be careful. That rogue? He knows more about you than most heroes do. Bella knows who he is, she’ll try to put a stop to his antics, but it isn’t likely to work. You’ll likely be the one to stop him, long term,” Dad sighed.

“Likely? I take it this is as certain as any warning from Oracles?” I asked. Why couldn’t someone, just once, have a certainty when foreseeing the future?

“Exactly like. Humans, by their nature, change the future all the time. Most of the outcomes I know of, which certainly aren’t all of the possible outcomes since I’m not gifted at this, have you stopping him after your mother fails to.”

“She’s not my mother, not anymore,” I replied instantly, then looked down. “I… Shouldn’t say that to you, I know you love her too…”

“And I know she hurt you. That too will likely find closure for you, one way or another. The important thing is, you are not responsible for what she did or will do, just how you react to it. Now, back to this rogue. As I said, be careful. There are outcomes to this where you perish, and I don’t want to see that happen if you can help it. I know better than most of the current Association that sometimes, your hand will be forced in that regard,” He chuckled, inviting me to share the joke. I managed a small smile. “And look back over some of my old news footage. You may find a trick or two you had forgotten about that will come in handy, for this or future issues. And don’t be too hard on Jet Force. He’s not trying to be an idiot about your identity, he just has the luxury of not having to hide who he is under that mask.”

I considered everything he told me, then frowned. “Wait… This rogue knows a lot about me? Does he know who I really am?”

“Yes.” That simple word shook me. If he knew who I was, he could know where to find my grandparents. And if he had gone to the trouble to figure out who I was, then that meant…

“I’m his target. At least currently. Why else would he dig so deep on this?”

“You are. He practically told you, calling you an orphan. Why would anyone think you’re an orphan when no one knows who you are? But, your standing up to him may have touched a nerve and made him say something he hadn’t intended to reveal yet. It’s definitely the line that made your mother realize who he’s after.” Dad ran a hand through his short hair, looking out into the distance. “Just try to be safe, kiddo. You’re doing a good job. Hell, you’ve already shown you can step up and be a team captain if needed. Now, time to wake up and assure everyone you’re alright.” He hugged me tightly and I hugged him back. “Love you, Alix. Always have, always will.”

“I love you too, Dad,” I whispered, closing my eyes.

When I opened them again, there were lights above me and I was laying flat. From the sounds around me, I was already in the infirmary at headquarters. “Well, welcome back, Flare,” Valiant said, seated nearby. “Docs said you were fine, just thought I’d wait and make sure. Janet would kill me if I didn’t.” That made me smile a little, because he was right that my grandmother would be furious. I sat up and looked at him. “So… New power, or stress?”

“New power,” I answered. “Dream visions or something… Dad didn’t know what it’s called.”

“Well, that may be useful. Your old man say anything worth sharing?” He crossed his arm, a look of contemplation on his face.

“I think you know he did,” I sighed. “He confirmed that I’m this rogue’s target. My mother knows who it is, and now knows who he’s after. She’ll try to stop him.”

“Try?” Valiant asked, raising an eyebrow. “So he’s not sure if she’ll manage.”

“That’s right.”

“Well… We best make sure you’re prepared, just in case. I’ll let the other platinums know that we confirmed you’re the target. I won’t bring up your mother- That’s no one else’s business, unless you want it to be.”

“Thanks, Valiant,” I smiled slightly. He was always good like that.

“Eh, we’re off duty, kiddo, you don’t gotta be formal,” he chuckled. I grinned.

“Alright… Thanks, Uncle Joey,” I teased. “Am I cleared to head out? You know my grandparents have to be worried.”

“You are… But uh… Someone’s waiting at the front door to talk to you.” He stood, as I did, and he moved to put a hand on my shoulder. “Hear them out, but don’t rush to any conclusions about what they say. If I thought this was a trap or dangerous, I wouldn’t let them even try.” He gave me a smile, then left.

If he thought it was a trap? So I wasn’t going to like whoever was waiting for me. At the moment, only one person came straight to mind. At least this wouldn’t be too bad, image wise. She kept her identity as secret as I did, so no one that didn’t already know who she was would assume I was talking to an enemy.

I got myself changed to civilian clothes and went to head out for my car. Sure enough, it was my mother, also in civilian clothes, waiting for me. “Alix- You’re alright?” She asked when I approached.

“I’m fine.” I knew my voice sounded cold, but I wasn’t inclined to behave otherwise. She didn’t seem too surprised by it either, giving a small nod.

“I’d like to chat a minute. Somewhere we won’t be overheard. If you wouldn’t mind.”

Just Super (Working Title) – Part 3

Jet helped me down first, and I lit the area and checked it out before allowing him to set me down and go back for Hurricane. While I waited for them to catch up, I noticed this particular room was empty. Like, completely devoid of anything but a door. There was no furniture, there wasn’t a lightbulb in the socket, and there were no shelves or anything hung on the walls. Moving to investigate the walls more closely revealed what seemed to be a hidden door opposite the regular door. I looked around again, shifting my fireball as much as I could to see if there were any reflections from any cameras anywhere. I saw none, but I couldn’t trust that meant there were no cameras. Jet and Hurricane landed behind me, and I turned to signal them to be quiet. They moved over closer.

“What’s up?” Hurricane whispered.

“There’s a hidden door here, and I’m not sure there are any cameras in this room. If this is a blind spot… What if he doesn’t know about the hidden door? What if it’s a safe spot?” Jet and Hurricane traded looks.

“I hope you don’t think that room is perfectly safe. I know where you went, even if I can’t see you in there.” Our rogue wasn’t about to leave us with any doubt. “There is nowhere in this hotel you can rest, and I know your only two possible escape routes from there. You take the door and enjoy more of my wonderful traps, or you go back upstairs and face my wonderful traps. Don’t deny the people the fun of watching you as you try to puzzle it out, make your choice.”

“I choose option C,” I muttered, moving and carefully trying to open the hidden door. It slid open easily, not sealed shut just designed in a way to make it hard to notice unless you were right on it. The other two slipped in the room, and I followed and carefully shut the door back behind us.

The hidden room was clearly some sort of room to hide people, as there were makeshift beds and old covers set up in here. We all breathed a sigh of relief and moved as far from the door as we could.

“This at least might give us a little time to plot,” Jet pointed out. “I’m sure he’ll figure it out at some point, but it’s time we have to think and plan.”

“Well… If this room is hidden from him, how many others might there be?” Hurricane asked. “We have an advantage with this knowledge.”

“We do… Let me try the communicator, maybe the signal blocker doesn’t go over this part,” I pointed out, taking out the communicator and pushing the button. “Technix? Can you hear me?”

There was silence on the other end for several seconds, then, faintly, “Flare? Did you find a spot that wasn’t blocked? The signal sounds faint, but I’ve been removed from the scene, so it could just be distance.”

“Yeah, we found a hidden room. I don’t think our rogue knows about it, but I also don’t know if we can escape from this spot.”

“We’ve got all the heroes and villains working on a rescue plan. Apparently, this rogue works with Kyrans on occasion, when they swing through the solar system. It’s some kind of metal from their world, we don’t know much about it yet. Valiant is working on finding any scientists who know enough about it to tell us how to get through it.”

“Has anyone tried melting it yet?” Hurricane asked. “Do we have any idea the melting point?”

“Not yet. The fire villains are concerned if they try it and it works, they could accidentally start a fire in the building, which could completely defeat the purpose of trying to get in and get you three out unless we can coordinate where you three would be when we tried.”

“I can try melting it from inside, when we get back to a point where we can safely do so. The room we were in was a ticking time bomb before that robot got in and killed us, I’m sure,” I sighed.

“Flare, can you lot break through the roof of that room and get out that way? If it’s level with the rest of the basement, but outside his shield, that might be the best way to escape,” came a different voice through the communicator. It was Valiant.

“We can try. Jet?” I looked at him, and Jet was already flying at ceiling level and investigating it.

“Judging by where the window would have been on that room, we should be on the outside of it, yes… How thick is that metal sheet?”

“Only a few inches,” Technix answered.

“Then it won’t have extended enough to block anything… Hurricane? Thoughts?”

“I think the room is stable enough that you could safely break through, especially if Flare and I back into the previous room so we won’t get taken out by debris. Then, even if the door gets blocked, you’d be able to clear it pretty quickly.”

“There are other heroes on standby outside, they will also help,” Valiant assured us. “Alright, girls, get back to the previous room. Jet, once they’re clear of it, go ahead and try to break through.” I handed Jet the coms and went back through to the other room with Hurricane, closing the door carefully behind us. New sounds came to me above us, indicating that the robot was indeed working on ramming its way through the door. Perhaps it couldn’t hold as much ammo as I expected it could, with the size of it.

That noise was quickly replaced with the sound of Jet hammering through the ceiling of the hidden room. It had been made of concrete, which didn’t tend to stand a chance against Jet. “What is that noise? What are you foolish heroes trying to do, tunnel through the basement wall?” The rogue asked angrily.

“Guess you’re gonna find out!” I called back over the racket, before there were two loud crashing noises, one after the other. Jet opened the door as I heard the robot heading our way, pulling the two of us into what remained of the hidden room and shutting the door back quickly. Two other flying heroes had moved down the help clear the path a bit, then helped Jet get us out of the mess quickly. A cheer went up around us and I sighed, looking at the crowd of heroes and citizens around us.

“This isn’t over!” Came a thunderous voice from a loudspeaker on top of the hotel behind us, making those of us closes to the building flinch as the metal retracted back up the building. “I will destroy my enemies, regardless of this setback! You can’t escape me forever!” Jet Force and Hurricane flinched again and quickly stepped away from the building. I didn’t, facing it and standing straight and proud.

“You better hope you aren’t where we can easily track you, rogue, because your time running amok is limited!” I called easily. Admittedly, I was a bit more afraid of this guy than I sounded like I was, but I had just been in what had been intended as a death trap. That would scare anyone, especially a young adult early in their career, hero or not. “You are now on the Association’s radar, it’s only a matter of time before one of us finds and apprehends you!”

“Big talk from some little orphan girl that’s only going to burn out in the long run,” The voice retorted. “You still aren’t even sure which of you three I wanted in my trap, are you? Could be you I’m targeting, couldn’t it? Or one of your little friends there, they wonder cousins. Perhaps I’m lying and just trying to psych you out, perhaps none of you were my direct targets. But go on, show your city you aren’t as afraid of me as your teammates there, recoiling in fear from me. Sheer luck got you out of my traps today.”

Someone put a hand on my shoulder and I looked. It was Thorn, another platinum hero that looked out for the younger ones. “Well said, Flare. And good work, leading your team out of there. Come on, let the platinums and golds search the building while you three come and debrief.”

“Of course, Thorn,” I agreed, turning and walking with her. Jet and Hurricane were already a distance from the building, looking back over their shoulders at it every once in a while and clearly a bit freaked out.