So… Seriously, what are you afraid of? I don’t mean like bug or crap like that. I mean emotional fear… Hell, you know what I mean. Fear in regards to being who you want to be, and doing what you want to do.

Kinda… I mean… I don’t know. Failure? Upsetting people I care about? Looking like the biggest waste of space in the universe?

And why are you worried about all that? You’ve failed before. You’ve upset people before, and they’re still here. And you can’t manage that last one- rapists and child predators exist. People way worse than you could ever come close to being. Add to that all the people between there and someone trying they’re best.

But if I fail at what I want to do, who I feel I really am… That feels worse than any failure I’ve ever had. It’s one thing to fail a class, or a test, or to complete a task… I feel like it’d be another entirely to fail at being me.

As long as you’re true to yourself, you can never fail at being you.

But what about people I care for? What if they hate the real me, or what I become chasing after that goal?

Then they weren’t who you thought they were, and didn’t care about you and your happiness as much as you do about them. Kid, you’re being a bigger failure to yourself by suppressing your wants and goals than if you tried and failed. As long as you don’t want to be a killer, or criminal, or what have you… then you’ll only be a better you by doing it.

I’m just… So scared to try. It’s easier to do nothing and look lazy but still have the people I care about… And not face a reality that might hurt.

It’s easier… but it feels wrong, doesn’t it?

Yeah…

Hurts a lot, doesn’t it?

Yeah…

You’re constantly tearing yourself apart over this, and it hurts to watch you suffer silently. Stop it. Start writing out what you want to do, who you want to be… and work for it. And now that I’m making you write it down here, people can see it, and comment encouragement or check in on you. So you have no excuse not to.

… Sharing a mind with you is not always a joy.

Only because I’m like a mother you can’t escape. And you love me. After all, I was your first personification of the real you, with nothing but my own demon to hold me back. Well, and enemy ninja. And angry old people. And how many times did I get stabbed?

Eh hehehe…