Alright, I officially don’t understand people anymore. It’s nuts. People expect you to care about others, which I certainly do. But you have to balance that with self-care, and people are realizing and accepting this. But then you self-care, and people think you’re selfish or lazy because you’re not concerned about others, or you’re not doing chores, or you’re not spending time with family. Like, where does it end?

Well now, where is this one coming from? You’ve seemed pretty “I’ve got this balance down” level of handling things lately.

From my brother, where else? He has no balance on it, and he’s part of the problem with my own balance. He swings between all he cares about is other people, up to and including forgoing making sure I have money to pay our bills to just give away hundreds of dollars worth of goods. Don’t get me wrong, helping people is great! But he needs to remember that he has to make sure that we’ve got what we need, or we lose utilities, our vehicles, our house… Then, he’ll get so fed up about helping people, he’ll just be a jackass to and about everyone else. He throws fits at the tiniest inconvenience when he’s in this mode, and it makes him sound like an entitled snowflake. And you know I hate that term, Shorty.

Did you consider that most people can’t decide how much is too much, both in terms of self-care and in terms of helping people? Some people give until they’re the ones who need the help, and that’s definitely too much. But then others only self-care, all day, every day. Nothing gets done, and they don’t do anything to look out for their fellow man.

It’s just nuts. Like, I can’t get time to learn a new language, or work harder on my streaming, or even to write, whether for the blog or just stories, because then I’m lazy. And if I ask for help with anything so that I can get things done and still have some time for self-care, I’m lazy and I get a lot of push-back. Like, dude, I’m a depressed and anxious young lady already that’s trying to clean up after others, and myself, and I also try to make time to help others in any way I can. How am I the bad guy here?

You’re only the bad guy if you’re not being true to you, you’re being actively hurtful to others, or you just don’t give a shit if you’re accidentally hurtful to others. Do you think you fit into one of those categories?

Honestly… I just don’t know anymore. Is that really the only categorizations for bad guys? I’ll have to think about that one some more…

Think all you need. You know I’ll be here for you as you need.