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Kendra's Thoughts, Updates

Fighting Through Blocks, and Ideas for This Site’s Future

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Today has been… insane. I went to work, had a normal morning after a tough day yesterday, and went to lunch with my brother while he was in town running errands.

Then, a notification hit my phone. Today, I’ve gotten 85 views so far. This is over double my last highest, from June!

While I’ve been able to write a few things and get a few ideas since June’s post, I haven’t made any progress on my current projects. This happens even to professional and published writer’s.

I actually had the pleasure to meet a published author, Brian Paone, at a book release for his newest book, These Walls Still Talk, last month. We met last year while he was finishing writing it, and I got to ask him about the publishing industry. He was really cool to talk to, as an aspiring author, and my mom and I picked up a few of his books while there. I mentioned struggling with where I’m at in my book, and Brian gave me a bit of insight into his own rough areas while writing. It’s really cool to know a published author has his own struggles with the art form.

All this fan-girling (I am a huge fan at this point, quite honestly) is just to say… that interaction helped my confidence as a writer a bit. I’ve come to realize that, maybe, by documenting my struggles with finishing and publishing my first book, I may similarly be able to help inspire and boost the confidence of future aspiring authors.

I’m going to try a few new things to help de-stress myself in the hopes that will help loosen up the writer’s block, including actually taking up journaling. While my current sights are only on publishing a book and certainly not on getting famous or making loads of money, I still want to use what I learn as I go to help others who stand beside me now in their own journeys or come after me in the future.

If I one day gain even a small fan following, I want to be able to help my fans like Brian has now done for me.

On that note, here are my thoughts on this blog going forward.

Right now, and honestly for the foreseeable future, this blog is rough and raw. Aside from typos I catch after posting or small updates that need made, I don’t edit what goes up here. It all flows from the brain to the keyboard as is. If you’ve read a few non-story posts, I’m sure you’ll have noted the rambly nature of them.

Story posts are similar. While I might edit a tad as I write it, all story posts that go up on this site are first drafts. I only edit later if I see a typo that’s bothering me or a phrasing comes off way wrong for what I meant, but never huge content changes.

I plan to continue that style here for now. It may change as I continue to develop as a writer, but while this blog remains a hobby and a side project that I cannot afford to devote more time to, that’s what I will stick with.

I am going to start brainstorming a few smaller projects like Taking Back the Kingdom to post here as dedicated blog stories. Shorter than a typical novel and unedited, but something to entertain people. I don’t have ideas for that plan yet, but once I have one I hope to be able to post an update a month to it.

I haven’t had a good monologued dialogue gor quite a while, so Shorty and I may be back with those monthly or bi-monthly as well. I haven’t decided yet, as writing those takes a lot of energy for me.

But the important point is… I want to give this blog more energy, more time, and more love. I can’t continue to grow by waiting for eyes and then creating content for them. I have to start having the content ready for when these small waves in viewership happen, in the hopes that either someone will come back for more or something I write sticks with them in a way that improves their lives.

Thank you for reading, and if you stick around for the journey ahead, I hope I live up to your expectations. (And go check out Brian at his link above, show him some love for me!)

Updates

New Projects Coming Soon!

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It’s been a bit since a project was running on this blog. Haven’t really posted one since Taking Back the Kingdom.

But I’ve started two new projects that I think will fair well here.

The first is a story that I’m currently calling The Technician. It will follow a computer tech with an ability to enter technology and fight viruses and tech issues in person, and how they use that ability to help those around them.

The second is a new superhero story that I think I’ll have a better time with writing than I was having with Life is Super. Right now, I’m calling it “Just Super” but I’m not sure that’ll stick. I’m working on a better one.

The Technician should have its first part up sometime this week. The superhero story might come this week or next, and might not. When they come out, feel free to leave feedback in the form of likes or comments!

Thanks for reading, and stay tuned for more!

Kendra's Mental Health Central

Soundtracking My Year

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Normally, I leave the media stuff to Shorty. She is planning a few new media posts out at the moment, but things have been pretty hectic and busy for both of us.

But today’s post crosses the line from Media to Mental Health, which is distinctly my court. Shorty will probably make a few smart alec comments later, but for now the floor is mine!

So, I’ve been listening to a lot of music rece…. The last few… Oh, okay, my whole life. I love a good song! Heck, I love a bad song if it’s catchy enough. But what I love most are songs that really hit home how I feel, how I want to feel, or how my thoughts and feelings have changed.

To this end, I’ve started thinking about Soundtracking My Year. Yes, I’m titling something that: A YouTube Music Playlist that I’m going to be sharing here.

So, what do I mean by soundtracking my year? Well, my likes Playlist alone on YT Music (JUST YT Music) is at least 300 songs that, yes, I do often get all the way through skipping minimal songs. And those songs are different from my Spotify likes, and probably are different still between my original YT Music account and the one that followed my from Google Play Music when that shut down.

Amongst those many, many songs, there are definitely some that define how I feel about myself, my life, and the world in general. So I decided to start this little soundtrack for 2021, and add to it as the year progresses. We’ll see if I actually remember to or not, but I’ve already got a couple songs ready for it!

When I add a song, I’m going to try to do a post and explain why it’s been added to the playlist. I don’t have a goal for how many songs will be in this playlist, just whatever feels right.

So, to start us off, let me explain an honorable mention: “I May Fall” by Jeff Williams, featuring Casey Lee Williams, from the Rooster Teeth anime RWBY.

These first few songs will have the theme of… Well, they’re all from RWBY, and therefore Jeff Williams and Casey Lee Williams. I really don’t care, they work for exactly what I want.

Now, the reason “I May Fall” doesn’t quite make the cut is… Well, it’s more about how I felt about my depression for the last part of 2020. So, just shy of the 2021 starting point. But it does really communicate how I felt about my depression around then: I may fall to something at some point, but damn it, I won’t let it be here, and I won’t let it be depression.

For the tail end of 2020, I was really mentalling through my depression and reinforcing my love for myself. There was a brief period where I was unable to get my medication, but I managed a-okay for that time frame. (I do NOT condone dropping your depression meds without consulting your doctor! I had extenuating circumstances that had me off mine, it was not just a desire to stop taking them or anything. Stopping them without talking to your doctor can cause major side effects and complications. Always talk to your doctor before you stop taking a medication.)

On to the first true entry on our playlist: “Armed and Ready” by Jeff Williams, featuring Casey Lee Williams, from the Rooster Teeth anime RWBY.

“Armed and Ready” is a pretty good depiction of how I feel about my transition from depression ruling my life to how I feel now: Ready to face life and whatever comes at me. I feel stronger and more confident every day. Granted, it’s not a perfect fit for me, because I feel like this song just works better on a level of overcoming trama or tragedy… But it’s my playlist and I make the rules! So that’s song one.

Our second song is actually currently just a nominee, but I wanted to explain my thoughts on why I’m considering it. And if I decide my thoughts sound like a dying chicken, then this one probably won’t make the cut for right now. The song: “I Burn” by Jeff Williams, featuring Casey Lee Williams, from the Rooster Teeth anime RWBY.

The reason I’m considering this is because, well… It’s how I feel about myself right now and anything or anyone that wants to cross me: Awww, look at you! You think you can take me down right now! Bless your heart! (If you didn’t know I was a Southern Gal, now you do.)

That’s really exactly what I get from this song. A girl on top of her world, and nothing can take her from that spot. Now, if you watch the trailer for the character this song goes with, you’ll find that a lot of the lines are… Far more literal than my interpretation. Doesn’t matter, art is like that and music is art.

Basically, yeah, these songs both just show that I really feel mentally strong and unstoppable right now. I feel like I can get things done this year, and, while I’m not one for New Years resolutions, I think I will.

I’ll explain what has me feeling so unstoppable, other than good family, an amazing boyfriend, and a best friend I could never replace, in another post. For now, this is the important part for this post.

What would you start your 2021 soundtrack with? What do you think of my choices? Let me know in the comments of this post, and feel free to check out my public 2021 soundtrack playlist here.