For most of my life, I’ve been known as a cheerful, hyper, random kind of girl. A lot of people I talk to classify me as a people person, and one to cheer others up when they need it. In school, I was goofy and full of energy.

What a lot of people don’t realize is that a lot of that is a mask. I’m really not as cheerful as I seem, and being around people for very long is extremely draining for me. And while I love to help others and make them feel great, I hate to ask for help.

I love to feel needed, and hate to feel needy. Spending time with people is draining, but seeing people around me happy is the best feeling in the world.

These feelings boiled down to one simple truth for me, when I was younger: I could not, under any circumstances, let others know that I wasn’t as strong, mature, and relaxed as I seemed.

My coping strategies, when I was younger, was to just act more cheerful and energetic around people, then escape into books and video games when I was alone. Writing became something of a savior to me, as it gave me the chance to live out my fantasies through whatever characters I created.

The character that ended up helping save my life, though, has since become one of my best friends: Shorty Scorch.

I originally made Shorty when I was a younger kid on the Neopets forums. She was based on this awesome new anime that I saw and absolutely loved, Naruto. She was a badass, a ninja, and harbored a demon. I know, cliche, but I was, like, 7 to 10. Sue me.

Since then, however, Shorty has grown and evolved just like a real person. I feel like she’s no longer just some vague character, but a part of me. So much so that she occasionally gets to step out and say her bit, here on the blog.

This might just seem like a long personal history and backstory, but it’s not. See, as I got older, Shorty Scorch became more and more a part of me. I talk to her in my mind when I need someone to discuss things with. She’s always calm and reasonable, and motherly. Admittedly, that description sounds a lot like a mental illness, but it’s not. Shorty isn’t a separate personality or something, and I’m always in control of my own body and emotions. She’s just a way for me to help verbalize/conceptualize some of my behaviors, thoughts, and feelings.

But, in the end, as much status as I give her, Shorty is still one thing: A mask. Everything else above I described? All of it is the same: Masks. Layers and layers of masks, to hide my pain or weakness.

Now, here’s the thing about masks: Everyone has one. No one is without some sort of cover for some kind of situation. Some masks are more developed than others, like Shorty is for me. Other masks are pretty easy to see through. But they’re all masks, ways to hide or cover ourselves.

What a person needs to know is when to remove the mask, or at least pull it enough away to get help. Mental health is important, and wearing an “I’m a perfectly normal human” mask when you’re struggling with dark thoughts, self-harm, or other signs of mental illness is just the same as wearing long sleeves to hide bruises. Some people will realize what you’re doing pretty quickly, others will take time, and some will never get it.

If you’re struggling, if you need someone to help you and don’t know how, please… Just take off the mask. It only needs to be for a short time, long enough to talk to a professional, or even just someone that cares and will help you get with a professional. Don’t hide behind your own Shorty, or cheerful and hyper side, or cool and aloof side- Whatever mask you wear, remember that it only hinders you when you need help.

I know it’s hard. Believe me, I still struggle with it on a daily basis. But a few minutes can be all it takes to get you back on a healthy track.

Feel free to reach out to me from the Contact page if you need a friendly ear, and please, stay on top of your mental health.